She's the Ringleader!
by XxRingleaderxX
Summary: Someone's trying to get the Joker's attention and they're doing a darn good job at it. To be his right hand man is her dream! But that spot's already taken. "Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, welcome to the Greatest Crime ever to be witnessed by mortal eyes! And now for our first act: The Joker..." (Rated T for later chapters)
1. Act I

~Harley~ _"This week's crime map seems to be a little strange, Vicki." _The fat man on my tv wheezed. Me and Mr. J were cuddled up on the couch, waiting to see if our latest _joke _made it onto the news. _"I-I see what you mean, Thomas. D-does that spell J-Joker?" _She stuttered. Mr. J Threw his head back and laughed. _"That it does Vicki. Someone planned an elaborate series of crimes to spell out 'Joker' on our crime map." _Mr. J stopped laughing immediately and pushed me off of him. He leaned forward to listen to the tv closely. _"Around the 'R' area people are claiming to have seen a woman dressed like something from the circus." _Mr. J slowly turned to me. His eyes locked on me and he just stared at me for a while. _"Here's an interview with one of the witnesses." _Vicki said as the screen transitioned to a short woman who spoke very . J's head snapped to the screen. _"I _saw _her. Butshewasn'tHarleyQuinno. Shewaswearingpurple. HarleyQuintotesgunsoragianth ammerorwhatever. . Andherhairwaslongandblack-"_ He slammed his fist down on the remote, turning off the tv and breaking the glass table. He got up ignoring the glass in his hand and started pacing the length of the room. "I wanna know who the hell she thinks she is and i want her here. Alive." He growled at me.

~Ringleadeer~ It'd taken me months to plan and a week to carry out but I'd finally done it. I retreated back to my house to catch the news before i missed it. I fumbled with my keys and the lock in the dark for a while before i just decided to kick my own door in. The alarm blared causing my grey great dane, Jester, to go into attack mode. He charged at me, knocking me over, and sniffed me. Once he recognized me he wet my face with his tounge. I pushed him off of me and ran to my alarm system. I punched in the code and silence filled my home. Jester pawed at the broken lock on my door. It was a good thing i'd invested in the bolted lock on the inside of my door. I ran into my living room and turned on my tv to the news. "_D-does that spell J-Joker?" _Vicki Vale stuttered into her mic. I pumped my fists into the air and did a little celebration dance. _"Here's an interview with one of the witnesses." _Vicki said as the screen transitioned to a short woman who spoke very fast. _"I _saw _her. Butshewasn'tHarleyQuinno. Shewaswearingpurple. HarleyQuintotesgunsoragianth ammerorwhatever. . Andherhairwaslongandblack. Iaskedherwhoshewas. ShetoldmehernamewasRingleade rbeforeshegotawayfromme." _She continued. It wouldn't be long before the Joker got my calling. I had a preposition i knew he couldn't refuse.

~Ringleader~ Five days had gone by since the newscast and i still hadn't had even a clue if the Joker knew who i was. I thought he worked faster than this. I looked around often looking for any signs of him or Harley, or even one of his thugs. I never saw any sign until one day i was walking home from hitting a corner store with Jester. I took one step inside and a metal baseball by connected with the back of my head. I turned and came face-to-face with a Joker thug. His eyes widened at the sight of me not unconsious on the floor. Jester lowered his chest to the floor and a low growl escaped from his throat. I looked down at him. "Wait." i said looking back at the guy who was waving his bat at my dog. "Jester. Bring it." I said letting go of his leash. The man took off and tore down my street. Jester looked back at me for an okay to follow him. "Leave it." i instructed him bending down and stretching my arms to him. He padded happily over into my arms and wet my cheeks. "I guess they know where we are now." I asked scratching him behind his ears. He looked at the door then back at me sadly. "I think we might have too Jester." I stood up and walked into my room. I stuffed the small amount of clothes i did have into Jester's harness. I dropped it in the middle of the living room beside his bed "Get dressed," I said walking into the kitchen. I picked up the phone and punched in the oh so familiar number. It rang three times before her voice was projected through the speaker. "What?" She asked. "Hey, Pammy." I chirped. "What do you want Nae? Are you in trouble again?" Her voice was a little nicer. "Yeah. No. I mean i'm fine. Sort of." I tried. "Can i stay with you for a while?" I asked her. -She sighed. "Yes. But if your dog messes with my babies he might not live long." She warned. "If your plants mess with _my_ baby _they _might not live long. And they'll be easier to kill." I retorted before hanging up. I went back into the living room to find Jester sitting paitently by the door. I put his leash on him and brought him outside. I had to tie him to the mailbox across the street to make sure he didn't follow me. I walked back into my house and pressed a button on my baton. The old orange gas leaked into the room and fell like an areosol. I walked back outside and lit a match on my front step. I looked across the street to Jester who wagged his tail and barked at me. "Eyes!" I yelled to him. He laid flat on his belly and put his paws over his eyes. I flicked the match into the house and ran to Jester's side. The explosion was big, but my baton privided us a blast shield big enough for both of us.

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I hope you enjoyed! Puh-lease review!


	2. Act II

~Ringleader~

I had at least another twelve encounters with Joker thugs before I decided to send the Joker a message. This particular time the thugs found me in a bar. They didn't mean to find me but they took the opportunity. They crowded around me and the one of them directly behind me said "You're coming with us." I almost choked on my drink laughing at them. I turned to face the four guys. "Now is that how you pick up girls?" I asked one turning halfway back towards the bartender who looked scared and confused. I pointed at the guy at the other end of the bar who was trying to down his last drink and leave as quickly as possible. "Put it on his tab." I picked up my baton and stabbed into the guy to my immediate left's foot. "You might wanna leave now." I warned the bartender before getting behind the bar. The one with the baton in his foot grabbed his foot and started jumping around. Within seconds he collapsed onto the ground, apparently dead. The rest of the three guys scrambled to catch me. By the time they were on the other side of the bar I was across the room. "Dontcha guys just _love _illusions?" I asked taking my baton out of the dead man's foot. I twirled it a little knowing my little _surprise_ was going to come soon. "Let's play a game you guys!" I chirped. "Marco!" I yelled. The window on the other side of the bar crashed and Jester howled something that sounded close to "polo". "Watch it." I told him. The guys rushed me and I gave Jester the signal. "All the way!" and with that Jester attacked the guy in the back of the group while I jabbed the guy closest to me with the baton. He died faster than the other guy. The sound of Jester's growling and his teeth ripping through the flesh made me smile. The last guy would be my messenger. "Listen here and listen good." The guy was nervous from the sound of his friend screaming and Jester growling and ripping him to shreds. "Tell the Joker to call off all of his men. I just wanna word with him." He looked at me uneasily. "You're a crazy _bitch_.'' He spat. Jester stopped his attack and growled at the other man. I twirled my baton until the pointed side was tracing the man's jaw. "Fermez la bouche ou périr." I warned. "Can you just relay that message for me dear?" I pressed into his skin slightly before he broke. "Fine, fine!" He yelled putting his hands up. Satisfied I waved him off. "Quitter cet endroit" He turned to run but came face to face with Jester, who was on his hind legs growling at him. I gasped at him. "Jester! Drop it!" He looked at me sadly and sat down. The man looked back at me and ran through the window Jester broke through. "Jester I'll talk to you at home. I have an errand to run." I told him throwing a couple bills on the bar for the bartender and downing the rest of my drink. He barked once and ran outside. The thug was easy to find. He stopped to breathe a mile down the road. I could see him from the broken window. I hopped on my motorcycle and produced a gun from my boot. I aimed at the road just behind his feet. He jumped and tried to run some more. I had no time to play with him. I had poeple to do and things to see!

"He's nothing but bad news." Pammy told me while stroking my hair. We were on her couch in her greenhouse. Jester stayed in his designated "pests allowed" area as Pammy put it. "I know he is. I want to cause chaos with him. Help him put smiles on people's faces" I giggled. She sighed "You remember the first time he put a smile on your face?" I stopped laughing at that. I did remember. It was the day his Venom rained down in glass shards. I sat up and looked at her. she opened her mouth to apoligize but i didnt want to hear it. I got up and left. I walked down the cold drak Gotham streets losing myself to my thoughts. I ran into a Joker thug. I looked down and mumbled a sorry "excuse me" trying to shuffle past him. I could still kick his ass without my baton, but i wasn't in the mood. And i had to be pretty goddamn low to not want to kick ass. He let me pass him and continued on his current course. He had a target unlike me. I was wondering aimlessly hoping to become another casuality in another crime. Again. Downtown. Most of the more recent crimes are happening downtown, so that's where i was headed. I turned around and smacked into another person. I looked up at them this time. "What do you know about the Ringleader?" They grunted. I lowered my head and muttered "I dunno nothin'. Why?"  
"Stay off the streets at night." They grunted again. I looked back up to the face behind the voice and i shouldn't have been surprised. The Batman. I decided to push my luck. "Can ya give me a ride? I'm kinda new in town." I asked sweetly. He looked around and said "Wait here." He turned around and disappeared into the dark. I stood in place for a few minutes before a tank like truck pulled up on the road beside me. "Hop in." He said opening the door. I climbed in and buckled up. This thing looked like a death trap. "Where do you stay?" He mumbled. What was his problem with pronunciation? "I'm staying with my sister. Just drop me off at the corner of Concordia Drive and Main Street." I said debation on whether or not he'd make the refrence between that corner and Poison Ivy. He thought for a second then nodded taking off. "Watch out over there. If you see any weird plants don't go near them." He warned me. We rode in silence for a while before i decided to see if he would spill about anything. "So, Batman, is it? What's it like being the Caped Crusader?"  
Silence. I turned to look out the window. He stopped the 'car' and unlocked the door. "Be safe." He said as i climbed out. "Blah, blah, blah." I mumbled slamming the door.

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Fermez la bouche ou périr- Close your mouth or perrish

Quitter cet endroit- Leave this place


	3. Act III

~Harley~ I entered Mr. J's office trying to keep myself from squealing because of his headache. He kept something cold on his face and he was massaging his temples with two fingers. "Puddin?" I spoke quietly. "Whaatt, Harley?" He asked obviously irritated. I sighed and closed the door. "We got her." I whispered. "Speak up, Harley." He groaned. "We got her." I said firmly. He sighed and got up. Within a blink of an eye he was choking me up against a wall. "I said, speak. Up." He growled. I could hear the blood in my ears as the oxygen was cut off from the rest of my body. I clawed at the back of his hand leaving deep scratches. He pulled his hand away dropping me to the ground. I knew I hadn't hurt him by the way he scowled at me. I gasped for air and coughed loudly. "We. Got. Her." I spat at him. He stopped scowling at me. For a second I saw a look on his face I hadn't seen since our first interview. Sorrow. I rubbed my neck where I knew there was a hand print. A huge smile crept onto his face as he laughed and said "Well bring her up Harley, dear!""  
I collected myself and stumbled to my feet. I left the room silently and made my way down to the holding cell.

~Ringleader~ I sat in the middle of the floor staring at the door. The guard behind me was screaming at me to let him out of the straight jacket I managed to get out of and put him in. He and I both knew that I could've left at any given time. Once he asked me why I didn't leave. I only said "In due time, my sad clown. In due time." The tumblers of the heavily locked door started turning and creaking as someone pushed the door open. By the time I saw who it was I could've made a break for it. I decided against is when I saw a black leg and a black jester like shoe enter. Jester. "Where's my dog?" I asked Harley as she entered staring at the bound guard in the corner of the room. He frowned at her and she came over to me. I stood up in front of her and I came up to her chin. There was a red hand mark around her neck from the joker. Mine would be the next print if she didn't tell me where my dog was. She leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Its dead." and giggled. She straightened back up and smiled at me. I smiled mockingly back at her. "Don't worry; you will take his place soon." I whispered back to her. She stopped smiling and back-handed me. It took a second to register that this bitch just hit me. She smirked showing her satisfaction and thinking that she won this. She pranced around me and put some hand cuffs on me. As soon as we were both sure I was secured I flipped over her and choked her with the cuffs. She gasped for breath clawing at the chain but I held on. I only let her go because she was turning blue. She collapsed when I removed my chain. I simply stepped over her and stood in the doorway. I took a while for her to catch her breath and get back up. I couldn't have choked her that hard. I mimicked her satisfied smirk when she looked at me. She fell back down and coughed up blood. I looked at my imaginary watch and started tapping my foot. I sighed dramatically as she coughed up more blood. I walked over to her and tried to help her up. She fought me getting blood on my pants. After an unspoken argument she let me help her up.

Another fifteen or twenty minutes passed before she was back to her annoying self. "Your gonna pay for that bitch." she threatened me wiping the excess blood from her mouth. "You really want to go through this again?" I asked gesturing to the blood puddle on the ground. She sighed and pushed me out of the room. "Watch it." I told her. She ignored me and kept on pushing me. Up some stairs around some corners through some doors past scared thugs. Finally we reached a door that was oozing with the familiar laugh of him. Harley burst through the door dragging me behind her. She pulled me straight to the joker who was still laughing with the thugs I recognized from being dragged to this place. "Just kill her." I heard her whisper. He turned to her. "Now, Harley, where's the fun in that?" he asked her looking at me for the first time ever actually noticing me. His stare was icy and full of anger. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked me directly. I nodded slowly. "I was a casualty in the glass joker venom thing and when you stole all of that money from Gotham National Bank and a lot of your other... Jokes." I explained. Any of the other laughter in the room ceased and all eyes were on me. "What do you mean you were a casualty?" Harley piped up. With a hand he silenced her and the thugs in the room backed into a corner. He approached me and bent down so that we were face to face. "How did you survive them?" he whispered. His eyes traced my features and he made eye contact that would paralyze a normal person. "I didn't." I smiled as he stood back up. He turned his back to me and looked at the ground.

I spotted my baton in the corner of the room and devised a plan to get it. I brought up my cuffed hands and tried to hit the joker. Harley saw this and went to protect him throwing her in front of the point where I'd hit his spine. Instead the metal connected with her jaw. She fell hard and I was immediately rushed by the even more frightened guys in the corner. I fought them off and made it to my baton. I slid easily out of the cuffs and threatened to stab one of the guys with the pointed end. Instead I pressed a button on my baton that let out a thick non-harmful gas that provided me with my escape. I made my way back to the door and rushed to find my way back through the dark hallways to the holding cell. I'd forgotten something in there. By the time I got there the Joker had already came over his P.A. system and ordered "my head on a goddamn platter" I hurried over to the guy who was still in a straight jacket struggling to get out. "If I help you get out you got to help me get out of here." I proposed. He looked deep in my eyes and nodded. When I let him out he took my hand and lead me to the door way. "This way." he said pulling me to the right. He pushed me into a room and closed the door behind him. "You wanna get out? You gotta blend in." he suggested pointing to an old chest filled with the uniforms every one of his thugs wore. I found the best fit for me over my ringleader attire. When I blended in enough he turned to open the door and started dragging me down the hall again. The air around us was getting colder but he kept on running. Pretty soon we were tramping through snow toward the Gotham Bridge that took us into town.


	4. Act IV

~Ringleader~ "So... Uh, what's your name?" I asked the guy who helped me escape. We ended up at a bench in a park downtown. I'd used my baton to scrape the thick layer of snow off of the seat and layed my "borrowed" joker clothes down for something dry to sit on. "Uh... Well Joker calls me Tickles." He frowned. The name caught me by surprise because it didn't fit him. I accidentally let out a snort and covered my mouth. He narrowed his eyes at me and i straightened back up. We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments before i spoke up. "Well you look like a Stu to me." I smiled. He looked at me from the corner of his eye and shook his head. "If i start calling you Stu will you answer to it?" I asked him. He thought for a minute before he nodded and said "Yeah. Yeah i would." Feeling successful i got up and grabbed my baton. I twirled it a couple of times. Moments later a bell tower rang for eleven o'clock and i was tackled to the ground by a large grey figure. It was unsually easy to push him off of me. The next thing i saw was Stu struggling with Jester. They seemed to be fighting. "Jester!" I called out to him. He and Stu stopped but Jester was still growling in his face. "Jester. Leave it." I commanded. He looked up at me sadly and took his place next to me. "Stu this is Jester, Jester this is Stu." I said pointing to them as i spoke. I looked down at Jester and realized he had on his harness. There was a note and a key attatched to him. The note read : "Dear Rin, Going back to Arkham. This is the key to a house i found for you. Its located at 54564 Park Road. Be safe! Sincerely, Pammy" I looked up at Stu. "How would you like to be my partner in crime?" he looked down at me and Jester and snorted. "hmm... Go back to the Joker so he can kill me or go off with another crazy clown..." he said using his hands as a scale. "No, either go back to the joker, be right hand man to Gotham's next public enemy number one, or fend for yourself on the streets." I retorted crossing my arms and leaning on my left foot. Stu just stared at me for some time. I sighed and walked away. Jester followed closely with his head high. We were walking for a while before Stu appeared beside me and said "Park Road is a block away from Concordia. On the other side of town." I looked up at him. I came up to his shoulder so it was a slight struggle. "Why did you wait until we got all the way over here to tell me?" he shoved his hands in his pockets and hung his head slightly. "I dunno." I turned the other way and tried to find Pammy's place. From there I could get anywhere. Even the Batcave.

~Harley~ I woke up in Mr. J's bed with a horrible pain in my jaw. He was across the room pacing around his desk. "Puddin'?" I tried calling out to him but it came out as a weird sound and caused intense pain. She was a small bitch but she was strong as hell. I clutched my jaw and felt stitches. Mr. J looked at me and rushed over. "Don't touch it." he said pulling my hand from my face. "The stitches need to heal." I sat up and went in the top drawer of the night stand. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from under like a thousand empty condom wrappers from our many nights we spent alone. "where the hell is she?" Mr. J looked down at my paper and said "When she hit you she made her escape."

"When we find her let me kill her." I wrote. Like the old saying goes: Hell hath no fury like a harlequin's rath

~Ringleader~ After looking for hours we found the right house. It was a small house in the middle of nowhere with a huge yard and a tall chain linked fence around all of it. "It doesn't exactly scream 'Home sweet home' but I guess it's close enough." I smirked as Stu started trying to open the messed up gate. Me and Jester simply found a gap and crawled through. I stood in front of him until he noticed me "How did you get in there?" he demanded pushing his fingers through the holes in the gate. "Let's see. I called up my friend who flies a jet and she came and picked me and Jester up right? So we're up in her jet and Jester is getting airsickness so she gives us some bungee cords that are connected to the side of the plane. SO she strapped me and Jester up and pushed us out and we just happened to land right here." I studied his hardened face. "Not buying it?" he shook his head. "there's a gap in the gate over there. See ya inside!" I chirped skipping to the door.

I waited on the porch as Stu struggled around in the dark through the hole. I walked over to him and grabbed his arms "On three suck in your gut! One! Two! Three!" I counted off then pulled him as hard as I could. With my help he slipped through easily. We made our way to the door where Jester already had the key in the lock. I petted him and he licked my hand. I used my free hand to open the door.

As it turned out half of the house was actually underground. As soon as you walked in there was a glass wall in front of you so you could see downstairs (the living room and the kitchen) and not fall. To the left was a hallway that went around the room to a place that had an actual wall. I was gonna assume that it was the bedrooms and bathrooms. To the right were steps that led downstairs. From what I could see the place was pretty well furnished and Stu was already in the kitchen checking out the fully stocked refrigerator. Me and Jester decided to check out the back. There were five bedrooms and three bathrooms. We claimed one of each I hid my staff under the bed and went looking for towels. Since Ivy didn't believe in hot water I'd been taking cold showers since I started staying with her. This house had everything. The showers were silent, the towels felt plush, and the bed was perfect. I fell asleep quickly next to Jester, who slept like a baby.


	5. Act V

~Harley~ I spun around in Mr. J's chair to occupy myself since I couldn't talk until my jaw was healed. Doctor's orders. Normally I'd be next to him trying to figure out what was with all of the tickets. Mr. J explained that she used her stick to release a fog and when it cleared there were tickets scattered around the room. They were gold and had "Cirque de la Mort" written across them in black cursive. "Is this some kinda joke? Am I supposed to be laughing at this?" Mr. J yelled at some poor henchmen who was studying the tickets just thrown in his face. "Harley!" He yelled to me. I stopped spinning and tried to focus on him. All three of him. "Go see how the body count is coming and get back here." He ordered. I could only nod and try to stand. I steadied myself as I left the room. A group of guys were walking down the hall talking about her. "Did you even see her?"  
"Nah man, I was lookin for her but its like she wasn't even there man!"  
"Some guys tried to jump in me saying I was her!"  
They were out of hearing range quickly. I started walking the other way.

When I got back Mr. J wasn't interested in the body count. He was on his couch tuned into the news  
"That's right Bob! The Cirque de la Mort is in town this weekend only!" Vicki Vale, the news anchor with the worst sense of humor ever, gushed into her mic. "Sadly, the tickets for the tonight only once in a lifetime show are sold out." Being that we no longer had a remote due to last week's news incident he simply got up and turned it off. "Harley, how do you catch a greased pig?" I thought for a moment and shrugged when I couldn't think of an answer. "Heh. Whatever the hell it is," he said as he produced a gun from the inside of his jacket. He cocked it and aimed it at the T.V. "It's worth a shot." With that he shot the screen multiple times and started laughing.

~Ringleader~ Me and Stu sat across from each other at the table eating the breakfast I made when I woke up. It was silent for a majority of the meal. "Why did you come back for me?" Stu asked quietly staring down at his half eaten plate. I thought for a while and looked straight at him. "I needed help. You're the only person who entertained me while I was there. Everyone else agitated me." I explained. More silence. "Why did you help me escape?" I asked him, still looking at him. He looked in my eyes and opened his mouth to respond but the doorbell rang rhythmically. A rhythm that meant only one person was on the other side. Jester barked happily as we raced up the stairs to the door. I threw the door open and was immediately pulled into a tight hug. It was Rai, my best friend, and her cat Sully, who was the only other animal Jester wouldn't try to rip apart. Rai pulled away and stared deep into my eyes. "I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta get back before they realize I'm gone." I stated back at her a d nodded. I looked down a Jester and Sully "Keep an eye on Stu. If he tried to follow us attack him but don't kill him." I instructed as I started pulling Rai towards the back. I pulled her into my room and locked the door. "Nice place ya got here" She said sitting me down on a couch in the corner and putting her bag on the table next to me. She tied a strip of cloth around my bicep and put a small stress ball in my hand. "Yea thanks. Pammy found it for me." I smiled. I'd have to break her outta Arkham soon.

Rai went in her bag and pulled out some viles and a couple of long skinny syringes. She picked up the vile with the red liquid and the corresponding syringe. As she filled it she decided to start up a conversation. "So who's the cutie you left at the table?" she grabbed my arm and squeezed it a little telling me to flex. "His name is, ugh..." I drifted off a little when the warm liquid entered my bloodstream. "Come on, Rinae, gimme his name." she prompted using her thumb to massage the injection site. "Stu." I told myself more than her. "Stu? How did you meet him?" she asked filling the second syringe with a green liquid. "Harley got me." I giggled. This stuff always made me feel high. "Did you leave the tickets?" She asked squeezing my arm again. I flexed it and said "Yea. Will you be there?" She nodded as the green stuff took my high away. "Ugh! Do you have to do that so damn soon Rai?" I snapped at her as I crashed. "Go ahead and speed up your heart rate Rin. It's not fully circulated yet." she warned packing her empty viles and the needles. "You need to go eat something. This show's gonna be to die for!" She exclaimed untying the fabric from my arm. "I know. Hey, by the way do you have any extra tickets? I just need one really." I asked her getting up to unlock the door. She was searching her bag until she stopped and pulled out the golden ticket. "Will I bee seeing Stu there?" she asked closing her bag and getting up to leave. I waved the ticket at her as I walked her to the front door. "So I'll see you tonight then!" she said. Stu looked up in time to see me close the door. He ran toward the stairs, scooping Sully up on his way. "Wait! She forgot her cat!" Jester instinctively latched onto Stu's leg and pulled him back down the stairs. When he dropped the small cat Jester let go. The little kitty mewed and stumbled back over to Jester, who's main priority was protecting me and Sully. "Rule one: don't take Sully away from Jester." I said coming down the stairs and finishing my food at the table.

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Shout out to two of my favorite story writers and my two biggest fans, Jenicide24 and booklover1598 ^.^


	6. Act VI

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Children of all ages I welcome you to: The Cirque De La Mort!  
This Circus it just to _die_ for...

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~Harley~

Mr. J walked with his head slightly hung behind the large man who had taken us the back way to our seats. All around us Julius Fucik's Entrance of the Gladiators blasted from hidden speakers. Every once in a while cheers would erupt from the crowd on the other side of the tent walls then die down, only to be riled up again. The man led us up a flight of stairs, never looking back to make sure we were still behind him. He stopped in front of a door and produced a skeleton key from his pockets. I didn't know that they made locks to go with those anymore…The lock clicked and he let us in. We were on the balcony perfectly aligned with the middle of the action. Some men were walking out of the tent, their bodies completely contorted. The crown roared crazily as the ringleader walked the same way Mr. J did with their head bowed till they were center stage. "A big hand to the Contort Brothers!" She yelled raising her hands high above her head and clapping them together. She looked up and made eye contact with me. I had to do a double take. It was her. "Is that," I began. Mr. J silenced me with his hand and leaned forward in his chair as she held his gaze. A large tv suspended from heavy duty cables was lowered from the ceiling. "And now that our guests of honor are here, we can continue on to the main event!" She yelled as the people started clapping. She picked up her stick and pointed at us "For Mr. Jack Napier and Dr. Harleen Quinzel!" The spotlight found us and I had to shield my eyes. Mr. J on the other hand stood up and took a gracious bow. Everyone gasped and some tried to leave. One brave soul pulled out a gun and tried to shoot him, but apparently there was glass protecting us. The guy who led us in cut him down with the butt of his machine gun. On the screen appeared three buildings: the police department, city hall, and Bruce Wayne's mansion. "Each of you belong to one of these places!" She explained. "Each of these places get a certain number of strikes! Get all the strikes on the places and they all get blown away!" She said. Mr. J laughed loudly, catching Ringleader's attention. "Well that got his attention! Wake up Doctor Quinn! You'll miss the show!" She yelled to me making Mr. J laugh even harder. I crossed my arms and looked at him until he stopped laughing. "Aww, come on, Harls!" He said nudging me. "It's justa joke!" He pinched my chin. "So that's stee-rike one for the police department! Everyone say thanks to the guy knocked out on the ground!" She laughed. A "J" appeared at the bottom of the police department's picture. "And now I formally welcome you all to the Cirque de la Mort!" And at that moment places in the tent that were just walls before became the deadliest places to be. On a balcony across from us was a girl with a large machine gun facing the crowd below us. Entering the ring were tigers and large dogs on chains who were growling at the person bringing them in. There was one dog that stuck out to me. A large grey Great Dane with a small white cat sitting on it's back. Clowns with different types of guns walked down the aisles and turned their backs to the ring. "Batman will save us!" A woman in a long black dress yelled before being shot by the girl on the balcony. "It's cute that you really think so!" Ringleader laughed at the broad being dragged out of the room. The man she came with tried to fight off one of the guys who were trying to remove her. She clicked her tongue as a y and an o showed up under city hall. "What did you do to Batman!?" Police commissioner Gordon yelled. I was surprised that he wasn't shot down too. An o showed up under the police department and people started to get rowdy. Everyone started yelling about B-man. Even Mr. J wanted to know what se did with his dear Batsy! "He's in as much danger as you all are! He's. Here." And another letter showed up under each building ad displayed on the screen was Jok O You  
"What the hell kind of game are you playing!?" Commissioner Gordon asked her. "Can someone bring him down here? We need to talk." She asked as a couple of armed clowns took him out of the crowd and into the ring. First thing I heard her say was "Can you believe your dear Batman is here and he's not protecting you? He doesn't deserve to be called a hero." She yelled at the crowd who was getting angrier by the second. When Gordon got close enough to talk to her they talked quietly for a while before she held out her hand to the guy who brought him out. He handed her a microphone. She clicked it on and said "Testing, testing. Joker can you hear me?" She looked up at us and he gave her a thumbs up. I scowled a little. "State your name." She said putting the mic in front of his face. "Police Commissioner Jim Gordon." He replied. "And what was the first thing you said to me?"  
"Your insane if you think Batman will sit back and let this happen."  
"Yeah-hmm. Okay. And could you define insane for us please?"  
"Crazy."  
She imitated a buzzer "Wrong answer! The dictionary definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome." She smiled at him. "By this definition me, you, the Joker, and Batman are insane."  
"You're crazy."  
"What make the Joker different from your Caped Crusader?"  
"The Joker kills. Batman protects."  
"He's not doing a good job tonight..."  
"He'll save us. And lock you up in the Asylum where you belong!" He shouted not at all starling her.  
"And the insanity continues!" She chirped bubbly  
"Get him outta here." She waved her hand at the guys who brought him into the ring. She walked over to the tall guy who was holding the animals back from the crowd. She whispered something to him and suddenly he let the Great Dane with the cat on its back go. It took off toward the crowd and started stiffing around in the stands. Most people swatted at him trying to get him to go away. He sniffed at everyone and just searched the crowd. He stopped at Bruce Wayne. The dog started barking at him. "Ohh we have a match!" Ringleader squealed into her still on mic. "Citizens of Gotham! I'd like to introduce to you... Batman."


	7. Act VII

~Him~

There's no way she knows."Her name is Rinae Isley, Poison Ivy's sister. She came to Gotham as a normal citizen about five years back." Barbara said through the earpice I was wearing. "She- Oh this is strange. Bruce listen to this, She's been pronounced dead at least five times, just this year." We're dealing with an immortal now? Great... Suddenly a secretary from City Hall stood up and yelled, "That's not Batman! That's Bruce Wayne!" Ringleader pointed at the closest one of her henchmen to Gina then to Gina herself. "Could you tell us all as much as you can about Bruce please?" Ringleader cooed into her mic. The guy handed Gina a mic. "Well... When he was little, his parents were killed on the streets. So he went into, like, a depression for a buncha years. So When he got outta the depressed phase he came back and took over his dad's business." She explained. "And when did Batman show his spandex for the first time?"

"Around the time Bruce Wayne came back?" She looked down at the person next to her for confirmation. "Yea around there." She said after getting a nod from the other person. "Bruce, make her feel like she's wrong! Use sarcasm to prove it." Barbara suggested. "Oh, you caught me!" I laughed putting my hands up. "Yes, I am Batman." I could feel everyone's eyes on me. "I have enough time to run around and catch bad guys all the time and run Wayne Enterprises too." I nudged the lady to my right. She laughed contagiously. Pretty soon everyone was laughing out of control. I looked down at Ringleader, who looked flustered, and laughed at her. "I'll give you all something to laugh at!" She yelled giving the man holding the animals a signal to let them loose. The people who got attacked didn't scream. No, they simply... Laughed.

~Ringleader~

I was sick and tired of playing games. The last three letters appeared on the screen as I made my way to the middle of the ring. I stuck my baton in the small hole that was there for this reason. I nodded at one of the guys that Rai brought to tell him to shoot if necessary. He nodded back to me and pointed his gun to the ceiling. He let his finger fall heavily on the trigger, spraying the ceiling. Those people who were unwillingly laughing were dead now and the animals sulked back over to Stu who had once reprehended them. For such a skinny guy he was strong enough to hold back five hungry tigers and three large Great Danes. Other than the empty shells falling to the ground it was completely silent. "'Bruce' can you read the screen for us please?" I asked sweetly. He rolled his eyes at me and everyone else looked up and read the screen simultaneously. "Jokes on you..."

"Silly Gotham! Why would I just get rid of buildings? You can rebuild them! But you all ? You've all got one life and you're losing it tonight! I hope you all enjoyed the circus of death!" I said as I used my staff to reveal the bomb that was in the room. I looked up to make sure the Joker and Harley were gotten out first.

~Joker~

"I need to get you two outta here." The guy behind me whispered. And it was just getting fun too! Citizens being mauled by dogs and cats, Batman's true identity revealed! I wanted to throw a dead rose at her! "And why is that?" Harley asked him. "We have five minutes before this place is blown to pieces." He explained calmly. That's when I heard the familiar sound of a gun wasting bullets I simply turned my back to him again and leaned back in my chair. The animals were back in the grasp of the tall guy, the people who were mauled were dead, (with a smile on their faces) and there was a bomb in the middle of the room. Next to her. Well I didn't know whether to clap and laugh or tell her that the people she thought were on her team were trying to kill her I looked up at the screen and it read "Jokes on you" I looked back over to Harley, who was being manhandled by the guy. "Puddin, I think we should go now…" she said as he tugged on her arm some more. I pulled out my switchblade and got up. I pulled her by her waist back to my side and slit his throat. "Mine." I thought as I searched his pockets. Harley looked over my shoulder to try and see what I was doing. "Harley. Go get the car." She hesitated slightly and ran out of the room. I found what I was looking for and ran after her. She had the car pulled around front and the door was opened and waiting for my arrival. "Where to?" She asked already stepping in the gas. "Six blocks east and three miles north!" She looked at me confused but complied anyways. As we rode off I looked back in time to see the ball of fire be tossed up into the dark Gotham sky.

~Harley~

She's finally dead. D-e-a-d dead. No more Ringleader. No more of any goddamn thing to do with her! "Ehh, Harls, Take us home!" He said after we watched the flames die out. I put the car in reverse and sped down the busy streets till we reached 'home'. Happy as a child Mr. J hopped out of the car and danced around the front humming a made up tune. He opened my door and held his hand out to help me. When I put my hand in his he kissed it and led me up to the door. I picked the lock with ease as we made our way to our bedroom. It wasn't much. A bed against the wall and an old scratched up dresser beside a window that overlooked Main Street. We were five blocks from Ivy's place on Concordia. Mr. J pulled me over to the bed and laid me down. "Good mood, Puddin?" I joked as he slid my pants off. He simply looked up at me and smirked. I laid back and closed my eyes to just enjoy what the night would bring me. I heard the unmistakable sound of his switchblade, then I felt the cold metal pressed against my hip and it started traveling downward. It was the dull side so there was no bloodshed. Yet. He cut off my underwear and kissed my hips. He moved up as he took off my shirt and hand cuffed me to the complicated metal design of the headboard. He dragged his blade upwards as well and cut off my bra. He straddled my waist, his clothes irritating my skin, and took my breasts in his hands. He played with them a bit before he let one go. He took his blade to the left one. He cut deeply into it. I could feel my blood running down the side and settling into the blankets below me. When he finished cutting me he used his thumb to erase the steady stream from my side and smeared it on my lips. "You're mine. You got that?" He growled into my ear. I nodded slowly. "Use your words Harley." He said getting aggravated. "Yes, Pud-" he slapped me hard which caused me to correct myself. "Yes, Mr. J."

He got off of me and walked out of the door, leaving me naked, bleeding, and chained to the bed.


	8. Act VIII

~Joker~  
She was gonna get in my way. I got in the car and went back to the scene of the fire. The firefighters were gone now. And the ambulances were driving away. I sifted through the rubble making my way to the once big top. I hadn't found what I was looking for in the guy who touched Harley, but I'd damn sure find it now. I couldn't help but to smile at the charred bodies lining the circle. As soon as my smile came it left at the sound of fabric flapping in the air and two steps behind me. "Do you think this is funny Joker?" He grunted at me. "Oh, get a sense of humor Batsy." I said turning to face him. Before I could make it fully around he put some handcuffs on me. I looked up at him shocked. He actually thought that I did this! "I didn't do this." I stated firmly. "Suree you didn't." He said sarcastically as he led me to his car. "Bat. Think about it." I said as he threw me in the backseat. I waited until he got in the drivers seat to continue. "Every other time I confessed to it. Why would I change it up this far into the game?" He pulled off and went down the Main Street route towards Arkham. "Because your sadistic and insane."  
"Define insane."

~Batman~  
He was behind everything. He got that girl to do his dirty work for him. "Does she believe your in love with her like Harley?" I asked him. He looked up at me. "I haven't said two words to her. I. Don't. Know. Her." He spat. "And don't even try to compare her to Harley. She's better in every way." He was so serious I felt the need to lighten up the atmosphere. "I didn't kill anyone!" He yelled suddenly. I looked back at him. "This week…" he admitted hanging his head. "Oh Bats! I get it now!" He said looking back up at me. "I've been so busy this week and you felt like I wasn't paying attention to you! Ha ha! If you needed some attention I would've gladly put together a plan to kill you!" He cackled. I wanted to knock him unconscious so we could ride in silence but I had to know why he killed these people the way he did. "So Joker feel like talking yet?" He stopped laughing and got serious again. "Dammit Bats. Don't you listen? I didn't do it." He insisted. "I am many things." He said. "But a liar is not one." He said softly. "So you really do love Harley like you tell her you do?" I asked. "I meant when it came to me and you." He snorted. "I don't even believe in love anymore." He mumbled looking out the window dramatically. "Don't let Harley hear you say that. You'd lose your plaything." I mumbled back. "She's more than my 'plaything'. She's also my sex toy." He cackled again. "Oh Bats you don't understand! All she wants to do is 'make love'! Ha! I just give her a good fucking and she falls right asleep!" He then decided to go into deep details of one of his and Harley's nights… I tuned out when he cut a smile into her hip. 'That's not sex' I thought. 'Thats abuse.' "And it's not rape! It's just a cuddle with a struggle! HA! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

~Ivy~  
I could hear him laughing from the time he entered the Island. It was annoying. If I could find just one blade of grass in this cement hellhole… "Hey Dent!" He yelled as he passed Harvey. He greeted everyone warmly as if it was his party and he was late. As he passed my my cell he stared coldly at me. "Weed."  
"Clown." I retorted just as coldly. " I think I'm gonna do something special just for you! Maybe I'll dilute your water with venom! Or fill your home with CO2!" He cackled as he was escorted down the long corridor. If Rinae didn't hurry up and get me out I'd kill her.

~Joker~  
Everything around my cell was the same. E cept there was a new guard. It was a girl with a MP5 standing by the door. She kept her head down and avoided eye contact with everyone. 'First day' I thought. I was placed beside the desk. Suddenly the officer who escorted me here walked up to her. "Who the hell are you?!" He asked her. She looked shyly up at him. "I'm officer Rinae… I'm new here…" she said quietly. "Mr. Sharpe told me to come down here. M-my I.d. Is behind the desk. Just le-lemmie…" she held up a finger and speed walked to behind the desk beside me. When she bent down she whispered something that sounded like "Hold your breath." So nonchalantly I obeyed. Then she pulled a long silver pole from under the desk. It was her. She pressed a button on it and released a green gas. She also produced couple of gas masks. She passed me one as she put one on herself. "Y'know Officer you look kinda busy." She said as everyone else in the room was struggling for some fool ol' oxygen. She grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hall stabbing everyone who got in our way. When she realized that she still had her gun she simply gave me the pole and ran down the halls shooting. She stopped in front of a cell and used some keys she picked up somewhere. "Took long enough. Got the clown?" The plant asked as she emerged from her cell. Sharpie's voice came over the p.a. system informing everyone of my escape. She produced another gun while I wasn't paying attention and traded it for the pole in my hands. We all took off running again killing everyone in sight. Pretty soon we were joined by the girl from the circus who was in charge if the machine gun on the balcony and the dog who found Bruce Wayne. "Where's the Bat, Rai?" Ringleader asked her. "Landing in five." She said. "Minutes?" Ringleader asked. Batman fell from the ceiling Making us change our route. "No, seconds." Rai joked. They turned to me and the plant. "You two get out Jester will lead you away. We'll get him off your trail." Ringleader instructed. Suddenly the two girls turned and started shooting at Batman. Another me and another plant ran past me and the real plant armed with guns and started shooting at him too.


	9. Act IX: The End

~Harley~  
"It has been reported that Gotham's newest villainess, Ringleader, has helped the Clown Prince if Crime, and Poison Ivy escape." I turned into the room that had the television on and stood in the doorway. The thugs in the room stared nervously at me. "In other news, a total of 68 people were killed in the mysterious circus explosion. There are no confirmed survivors." I ignored the t.v. Suddenly I heard a familiar sound. "Harleyyy!" Mr. J sang out. I followed his voice and found him in his study. Surprisingly he wasn't alone. Mr. J was sitting in his chair, Ivy was tending to the dying plant in the corner, Ringleader was sitting cross-legged on the corner if his desk, and two unidentifiable people were sitting on the couch playing with the cat and the dog from the circus. "There you are Harley!" Mr. J said cheerfully. I had no intentions of making conversations with anyone until this bitch was dead. I approached the desk and pulled her off by her hair. I remembered the gun that Mr. J kept in his top drawer. I quickly opened the drawer and found it. The click of the gun cocking caught everyone's attention. "Harls!" Ivy yelled leaving her plant. I ignored her and pressed the barrel into Ringleader's temple. Mr. J snapped out of his shock and tried to pry my hand out of her hair as Ivy tried to pull the gun away from her head. "Harley, stop!" They both yelled at me. Ringleader looked into the barrel if the gun and laughed. "Kill me." She said. Mr. J managed to get my hand out of her hair. She smiled widely and bit the barrel. I pulled the trigger and blood spray painted everything behind her. Ivy collapsed and the two people on the couch crowded around the two fallen girls. Ivy buried her face in her hands and let out a long loud sob. She was comforted by the guy. The girl dragged Ringleader over to the couch leaving a trail of blood. Mr. J grabbed my roughly by my shoulders and turned me around. He back handed me. I fell next to Ivy who looked down at me. "You stupid whore! You don't listen!" She yelled at me. "You just killed my SISTER!" She yelled reaching for my neck.

~Joker~  
I never thought I'd see Ivy and Harley fighting each other for their lives. Me and "Stu", as Ringleader called him, could only watch as they rolled around screaming and scratching and choking each other. It was when Harley was on top choking Ivy and Ivy was reaching up choking Harley that me and Stu intervened. He grabbed Harley and I pulled Ivy from underneath her. I looked over at Ringleader and Rai. Ringleader was set up against the couch her head back on the cushion and Rai was next to her just watching her. I saw Rai pick up Ringleader's hand. Ivy pulled away from me and went back to her plant. It was silent except for Ivy crying. Rai looked up and smiled wildly. "What?" I asked. At that moment Ringleader's head rolled and she started moving. "That's the best you got, bitch?" She said. She looked up and her eyes locked on Harley. She giggled. "Wanna try again?" Everyone looked at her. She looked at all of our shocked expressions. "What? Never seen a resurrection before?" She asked getting up. The trail of blood on the floor, the blood sprayed around the room the blood on her turned brown then disappeared. "I laugh in the face of Death, so it sends me back." She approached Harley with the same hatred as when Harley entered the room. With a single punch she sent Harley across the room and into a wall. She fell out on the floor. Ringleader turned to me. "Now that I have your attention, I have something for you." She smiled. I eyed her and the other people around the room. "What?" I asked shoving my hands in my pocket and fingering my switchblade. "Your next greatest punchline." She said sitting back on my desk and crossing her legs. I couldn't do anything but laugh. I laughed for a long while before I could stop myself, and even then I wouldn't stop laughing. I wouldn't stop laughing until I was just wheezing and clapping like a seal on venom. Suddenly I forgot the joke at hand and stopped. Everything got serious then. "I'm listening."

* * *

**I'm sorry this chapter is so short! I'm going to be working on another Ringleader story with my friend! So for now**

_**The End.**__** QUESTION MARK!?**_


	10. Act X: The End For Real

~Ringleader~ _Thunk!_ "Oops! Sorry Harley!" Rai apologized to the half conscious woman thrown over her shoulder. Harley mumbled her reply which ended with "stupid fucking bitch..." Stu ducked out of the room behind them and closed the door. "You were saying?" The Joker asked swinging his focus back to me. He took his seat in front of me an leaned back in his creaky chair.  
_"Rinae! Stop you'll fall!"_  
_"You worry too much!" _  
_"Rinae! Seriously!"_  
_"I'll be fi- AHHHHHHH!"_  
_"Rinae!"_  
Snap! Snap! "Earth to circus **freak**!" I looked down at the Joker who was impatiently snapping in my face. I pounced on him, knocking him out of his chair and sending us both to the ground. "Don't call me a freak." I didn't recognize my own voice. It was a growl and it was too low. He pushed me off of him with ease. "Hell. If it provokes a negative response I just might make it your nick name! HA!" He said laughing. I put a gun to his head at that moment. "If I kill you, you don't come back." I said. He pulled out his switchblade. "You should've stayed dead." Then I felt the cool metal in my stomach. I simply smiled and said "It's not over. I'll see you in five minutes." And with that a laugh…  
But I didn't wake up where I thought I would. I awoke on the side of the road in my street clothes which were drenched in blood. As I began to stir I caught the attention of a heavyset brunette woman. She ran over to me yelling "Oh god are you okay!?" She screamed for help until she realized who I was. "Oh God! You-your that woman who helped the Jo-Joker escape! Lord! Police! Someone call the police!" I would've killed her if I had enough strength. But being as though I was loosing blood and this cut wasn't healing I let her yell. Only because it meant help. The sirens were coming fast. I blacked out. When I woke up I was surrounded by doctors who were inspecting the long cut on my stomach. It started below my rib cage. And curved to directly under my belly button. "It'll take a while to heal. But after it does she starts therapy immediately."

_**Six Months later**_

"Patient number 57429. My name is Dr. Thorpe. Session one.…"

* * *

Hey! Sorry for the short chapter! If you haven't already started reading Jack that would be considered book two of She's the Ringleader! WHAT!? BOOK TWO?! That is correct! It explains more Ringleader's past... The question is... What does she want with poor Jack?


End file.
